Thoughts from A Birthmom

The following letter was written by a 21-year-old birthmother who placed her baby for adoption through Generations two years ago. In addition to the letter she wrote to the adoptive family, the birthmother also wrote a letter to her caseworker in which she said: “Tell the adoptive parents I said hello and I love them for what they did. I’m so glad that I chose them to raise my baby! I know he is happy and I know that they love him!”

Hey, how is it going? I have been doing good I guess. I have been thinking a lot about Logan lately. They have different shows on T.V. about girls giving babies up for adoption and people who were adopted out searching for birth parents. I just cry my eyes out the whole time. I start thinking about Logan and I don’t want him to hate me for what I did! I don’t want him to think he wasn’t good enough for me since I had a baby 6 months ago and kept him. I would of kept Logan and raised him if I thought I could. I want him to know that this was the best thing for him. I love him so much and I think about him all the time! The red photo album that you gave me is filling up with photos of Logan. I love looking at them and seeing all the things he has done. I can finally look at them without crying! I would love some new pictures if you don’t mind. I want to see how much he has grown!  I am so grateful for what you did for me. I think about the day I left the hospital without a baby and it hurts so bad inside and then I just think about how happy he is and that he is well taken care of and I just smile! I would like for you to do just one thing for me…when you tell Logan about the adoption could you just let him know that I love him and I always will! Thank you so much for everything! I love y’all and I think about y’all all the time!

Adoption. Everyone has an opinion! Many people think that adoption is wonderful for the families who adopt children and for the children who are adopted. Yet, at the same time, some of these same people often do not acknowledge that every adoption involves a birthmother. A birthmother who made an adoption plan out of her great love for her child. This can happen because people aren’t educated about adoption and don’t understand the grief every birth parent goes through during the process of making their child’s adoption plan and even after the placement. However, birthmothers deserve great honor and respect. They are heroes! Women who choose adoption love their babies and want the very best for them. They choose parents to raise their children in loving, stable homes, and parents who can provide everything the birthmother would if she could.


Sadly, many of the stories that we see and hear on television and in the news depict the “horror stories” of adoption. Instead of birthmothers being portrayed as the strong, courageous women they are, they are shown as stalkers or women who don’t care about their children. The only way to combat the negative images shown in the media is for real birthmothers to speak out and share their stories. To share the joy, the pain, the bittersweet emotions they experienced while making their adoption plans and during their journey of healing and recovery afterwards. At Generations, we value our birthmothers and truly believe that every birthmother has a story to share. Would you consider sharing your story with us, in part to minister to other birthmothers, and in part to educate prospective adoptive parents and others who would benefit from hearing your story?